As many reading this know, I am
the author of a book titled, The Business of Kindness:
creating work environments where people thrive. I have
had the privilege of sharing its message of creating kinder
workplaces with hundreds of clients through speaking engagements
and full-day training programs. In addition, the Contagious
Kindness and Compassion in Action courses are
tailored, licensed programs that have helped close to ten
thousand individuals look through the lens of kindness to
support changing their working environments one person – and one
kind act – at a time.
With this volume of people
participating in these programs, many thought-provoking
questions, insights, and inspirational stories from a wide range
of individuals have come to light, making me curious to find out
if there was a difference between a kind act and an
act of compassion.
In December 2010, I traveled to
New Delhi, India, with a group of global volunteers to explore
my personal question, “What is compassion?” For three
weeks, I worked at Mother Teresa’s Home for the Destitute and
Dying run by her order, The Sisters of Charity. These blessed
Sisters offer up unsurpassed compassion every day to create a
home for 165 of India’s poorest or most abandoned – such as the
elderly requiring end-of-life care and those with every manner
of physical, mental, and emotional illness. I have no medical
background and felt ill prepared, but also knew that I needed to
immerse myself in the journey somehow, someway. I shared my
concern with one of my
volunteer mates
the night
before our placement began.
Heather, a nurse from Pennsylvania who had, six years earlier,
served at this location, said without hesitation, “Olivia, they
don’t need medical attention, they need compassion.” I knew that
I had come to the right place to explore my question.
Three
weeks, countless life-altering experiences, and a vivid
collection of memories later, my principal discovery
was that –
despite often being confused as one and the same – service and
compassion are distinctly different. I believe compassion comes
directly from our heart. We give compassion with unconditional
love, with no agenda or attachment. Service, on the other hand,
is working with our hands to complete a kind act, task, or duty.
Learning to give both
together is where the magic occurs.
My
journey made me question whether the ‘Compassion Cup’ can get so
full that there is no room left to fill it up or give out more.
Does compassion pour over the sides when one is exhausted and
drained? Does compassion for others make us lose compassion for
ourselves as the cup slowly drains?
Or does the ‘Compassion Cup’
actually refill itself as it is dispensed? That’s what I believe
happens.
Here are a few
of my insights about compassion:
· Compassion
is a warm companion to a body and mind that is bent and broken.
· Compassion
can be playful, full of energy and dancing together.
· Compassion
does not judge... even for a moment.
· Compassion
is more meaningful if we have to stretch in some capacity to
give it.
· Compassion
in my eyes was more powerful than compassion in my words.
· Compassion
is feeding someone and not being in a hurry.
· Compassion
does not care if you speak the same language.
· Compassion
is listening more than you talk.
· Compassion
is being present with that one person in that one moment.
· Compassion
is in the touch of hands to hands.
· Compassion
is present when you see a person’s essence – not the illness or
disfigurement.
· Compassion
is in a warm embrace, a wink, washing floors and not forgetting
for whom I washed them, joyfully doing laundry by hand, washing
dishes with intention, and stopping to make human contact
amongst the chores.
Each day, when we would arrive to
our volunteer placement, I would glance at a sign outside the
entrance to the little chapel that held a quote from Mother
Teresa: ‘Give until it hurts, then smile.’ This quote has
compassion for self and others written all over it.
Your Involvement
As I continue to search for the
deeper meaning of compassion, I invite you, the reader, to join
me. Share your thoughts, insights, and experiences in and around
compassion in both your life and work. Does compassion manifest
itself differently in our personal and professional lives?
I want to join with other
perspectives as I explore the many Faces of Compassion
– 100 people who would like to contribute to my
upcoming book on compassion. If you have a favorite quote, an
experience to share in a story, or a brief thought, then please
send it along to me. The question is: What does compassion mean
to you? Does it look different with family, friends, work,
volunteerism, or spiritually? All or parts of your insights may
be used. Please forward this email to whomever you feel may want
to contribute.
When you are submitting your
contribution, please include the work or volunteer sector and
profession you work in. I am also seeking your age and where you
live. First names only will be used to identify you and a
disclaimer will be sent out to you if you we use any of your
material to ensure we have your permission.
I
look forward to reading your thoughts.
Warm regards,
Olivia
